Lessons From Two and a Half Oil Busts, Part 1

For the next couple of years I’ll be giving advice as a LAGCOE mentor, so I’m using this blog to collect career-advice ideas as they come to me. I am lucky to be unencumbered by a corporate HR department and am free to speak my mind. Most of this advice comes from mistakes made or observed first-hand over the last 38 years.

Lesson 1 – “College is an obstacle course.”

This is advice I got from my older brother. At the time he shared it with me, he was a CPA with several years of working experience, and I was a sophomore in college. Without his perspective, I might have quit college out of frustration.

Despite the fact that my diploma says “petroleum engineering”, my college education did not teach me how to be a petroleum engineer. College is not intended to teach you how to do a job. College is intended to teach you how to think like a person needs to think to be successful in that job. A diploma is a tool kit, so to speak, and nothing more.

Along the way, there are a million obstacles. It seemed that the bursar’s office screwed up my tuition bill every semester. That Chem lab needed to stay on track for graduation was overenrolled. The prof failed to order enough books for Strength of Materials. In retrospect, these incidents seem to have been planned to create a series of mini-frustrations. Non-academic, procedural obstacles that seemed designed to discourage the less motivated, the less focused, the easily distracted or discouraged among us.

Call it paranoid if you wish. In any case, everyone finds college frustrating; realizing that the obstacles are integral to the process helped me achieve my goal, which was getting out with a degree. In the end, the student who has the time and determination to work the system is probably better prepared to cope in the real world.

Lesson 2 – A good résumé never got anyone a job.

A good résumé can get you a job interview, and the interview may lead to a job. A bad résumé can keep you from getting that interview opportunity.

Entire books and websites tell you how to construct your résumé, so I’ll be brief. An anecdote will serve as illustration.

Early in my career, during the beginning of what was to become the Oil Bust of 1986, my boss at a small company circulated an unsolicited résumé to me and another engineer. Both my boss and the other engineer were alumni former students of the same large university that the applicant would soon be graduating.

The résumé was pretty standard in form and layout: Career Goals, Education, Honors, etc. But under the title Organizations was this little gem:

> Served as Vice-Chair of the Campus Anti-Fraternity Council.

In thirty years of looking at résumés, this one line stands out as the best example of an opportunity-killer.

Your résumé should highlight campus leadership roles. Based on my boss’s legacy with the prominent, um, paramilitary anti-fraternity organization on campus, the applicant correctly assumed that this sentiment might resonate with him. (Have you guessed which university yet?)

The red flag relates to judgment, or the lack of same, that led the applicant to boast about it in writing. On his résumé. Truth be told, I shared his sentiment, but I would never have dreamed about putting it on my résumé.

You want your résumé to be passed around. Don’t sabotage yourself by assuming that every reader shares your prejudices.

The last person a corporate middle-manager wants to hire is one who speaks/writes/fires off an email before engaging his/her brain. Don’t let your résumé undermine your effort to snag that interview.

More to follow.

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I Hate Rocky Road! (A Fairy Tale)

My favorite ice cream store started a contest to eliminate flavors one by one. By November, one flavor will be declared the “winner”, and that’s the only flavor we’ll have for four years.

My favorite freezer is on the right-hand side of the store. On the left sits a decrepit old freezer; its offerings tempt young customers and those with “special interests”; usually they are too expensive or unappetizing to me.

Several of the original flavors on the right would have been acceptable to me. Vanilla, French Vanilla, Old-Fashioned Vanilla and even Rum Raisin. Pistachio Almond — a little nutty and too green for my taste. From the beginning, Heath Bar Crunch was my favorite.

Every customer was given a vote. I knew right away that the one flavor on the right I could never bear was Rocky Road. It’s too rich, too slimy; even a small sample leaves an unpleasant aftertaste. Marshmallows absolutely make me gag. I vowed never to vote for Rocky Road.

When my turn came, I voted for Dulce de Leche, not because I thought it best but because I thought it had broader appeal and could beat whatever disagreeable flavor would emerge from the left freezer. But Dulce de Leche hit the exit early.

Ultimately, the contest came down to five total flavors. To my surprise, my favorite (Crunch! Crunch! Crunch!) was still in the running, up against the despised Rocky Road and an old half-pint of Neapolitan that, frankly, the cleaning folks neglected to throw out.

This morning I went to the shop. Rocky Road is the only choice in the freezer on the right. Right now, I’m feeling confused, angry, and betrayed. Why can’t everyone see that HB Crunch is, was, and always will be the One True Ice Cream Flavor? #NeverRockyRoad!

Hoping there to be palatable alternatives in the freezer on the left, I looked for the first time at those two flavors:

  1. From Vermont, Ben & Jerry’s Wavy Gravy: nutty, expensive, and way too pink for my taste.
  2. Hilderberry, also pink and almost certainly tainted (with listeria; target of an FDA probe that will probably never see the light of day).

While Wavy Gravy is giving favorite Hilderberry a run for her its money, all the customers expect the ultimate choice to be between Rocky Road and Hilderberry.

My G_d, what did I do to deserve the choice between a flavor I hate and one that has a good chance of killing me?

Fortunately, I have until November to make a final decision.

Cross-posted with trepidation.

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What do you buy the man who has everything?

In 1980, for his 55th birthday, my Dad asked for (and received) a truckload of composted cowsh*t. You think my Mom wasn’t a loving wife?
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He’s holding a candle. Caption on the back: “Happy Birthday 1980”

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Cheaper by the truckload.

Dad had a passion for organic gardening. Also for beekeeping, primitive archery, and fruit trees. He was also a homemade wine-making tee-totaler. He was a hippie before the hippies knew granola was supposed to crunch.
 
The story gets better. Later that same day, with the cowsh*t still in the driveway, Mom and Dad drove to the airport to pick up my girlfriend and I for her first visit to Tulsa from New Orleans. And to meet my parents for the first time.
 
Ninety-nine women out of a hundred would have caught two things in rapid succession: 1) a whiff of the cowsh*t, and 2) the next cab to the airport. Not Paula Demma Maley. For some reason, she saw in him a glimpse of the kind of man that I might potentially become, if I were ever to grow up. The jury’s still out on that one.
Dad turned 91 in March. He still has an itch to garden when his back and knees cooperate. He has lived in Louisiana the past 20 years, where his gardening continued and where he has been able to grow fine citrus trees for the first time in his life. He expanded his manure repertoire to include exotics like quailsh*t (quite fruitful), and he’s learned that crawfish shells make great compost.
Nana & Hydrangeas

Love you, Mom.

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Wargaming #Election2016

Last fall the Presidential Election of 2016 played out in real time, right here in Louisiana. Locally, we called it the 2015 Gubernatorial Election.

My takeaway:

Given a unified party, any of the three Republican candidates would have beaten the sole Democrat in the race head-to-head. In retrospect, the leading Republican, Sen. David Vitter, had no chance of winning the general election because of his astronomically high negative poll numbers. The Dem won the general because he stood by while the Republicans carved each other up.

Continue reading

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Notes on Obama’s $10-per-barrel Oil Tax, Part 2: Ceteris Ain’t Paribus

We looked at the first red flag that Obama’s new tax proposal isn’t the result of deep thought and study in the previous installment, Math Are Hard. All things being equal, ceteris paribus as the economic wonks say, 32 billion barrels a year times $10 is a $32 billion shot in the arm for renewable energy.

But ceteris ain’t paribus. The tax would kill the domestic oil and gas industry overnight. (I get it, that’s the point, but that’s not the way it is being sold to the American public.)

Oil is a commodity. The US makes about 10% of global production, and there is a current oversupply. We cannot affect the global price. That means that any special tax imposed on domestic production is effectively a reverse tariff; the main beneficiaries would be countries like Russia, Saudi Arabia, Iran and Venezuela. Since nothing would curtail US consumption, foreign countries would enjoy a sudden windfall at US producers’ expense. Continue reading

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Notes on Obama’s $10-per-barrel Oil Tax, Part 1: Math Are Hard

Yes, I know that Obama’s $10-per-barrel tax proposal is DOA in Congress. What irritates me is that it is a thoughtless proposal, more about instigating division than about practical benefit. It is as if important policy issues have been entrusted to children, or worse, Internet trolls.

A few years back, I had a colleague who was good at identifying oil prospects, not so good at evaluating them. He’d say,”My prospect could hold 250,000 barrels of oil. That’s $25 million worth!” While that statement is superficially true, it’s also intellectually lazy because it fails to take into account the myriad costs and risks of an oil-drilling venture. (God made petroleum engineers to keep geologists honest.) Continue reading

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Sure, Obama was wrong. But there’s a bigger point to be made.

Throughout his two terms, Barack Obama’s position on energy policy is encapsulated in the soundbite: “We can’t just drill our way to lower gasoline prices.” In one case he doubled down, adding, “Anybody who tells you otherwise either doesn’t know what they’re talking about or they’re not telling you the truth.”* (Here’s an excellent video from the folks at Energy in Depth; hat tip to Rob Port at the Say Anything blog.)

Yes, Mr. Obama and his advisers were mistaken. But the bigger story is what this episode says about Free Markets vs. Central Planning. Continue reading

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Meet ISIS Czar Robert Malley (no relation)

I first heard Robert Malley’s name yesterday on one of the conservative radio talk shows. Since his name is only one letter different from my dad’s, I thought I’d Google him up. Maybe a long-lost cousin, who knows?

After digging a little into Malley’s background (admittedly, all on Wikipedia), I conclude we’d be better off to appoint Jared Fogle to the Child Abuse Task Force, or maybe John Gotti, Jr. to head the FBI. Classic Obama. Whose side is this guy on?
Continue reading

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Louisiana is disappearing! (… but not for the reasons you have been told).

Sea level rise! South Louisiana is disappearing  — an area the size of a football field disappears every 15 minutes!

Or so we’ve been told. The scapegoats range from the oil and gas industry to climate change to invasive species — feral hogs and the lowly nutria. The story fits well with environmentalist panic and the age of the Anthropocene.

Geologist Chris McLindon has studied the data, and thinks he has a better answer: faulting. Continue reading

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Memories of Hurricane Katrina and Double-U Brooks (from 2010)

 I’ve been waiting in the weeds for the 10-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina to republish the following piece, my memories of the storm and its impact on New Orleans and New Orleanians. Lightly edited, first published August 28, 2010. I hope you enjoy it. Steve

It was a sunny Friday afternoon just five years ago. My wife was in New Orleans helping her sister move into her new Warehouse District condo. At lunch, they noticed that a storm had moved into the Gulf, and was threatening the central Gulf Coast. It was the “K” storm, already 2005’s eleventh named storm, too many for late August. Continue reading

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