Don’t bogart that joint … of drill pipe, I mean.
Straight from the Gaian People’s Republic of Boulder comes this fresh idea for stopping the flow of oil from the BP blowout in the Gulf of Mexico: meditation!
“The basic concept is to try and get as many people to visualize that the valve is actually functioning and is working and closing,” said Carl Fuermann, a staff member in the University of Colorado’s Registrar Office. …
“I’m very known for fixing things and making things work,” Fuermann said, adding that he believes his meditation helped fix a friend’s Flip video camera. “I visualize things working and hold the belief that they actually work.”
I must admit, I find this idea … intriguing. This guy fixed a Flip phone; why not an oil well flowing 5,000+ barrels per day one mile straight down in the Gulf of Mexico.
Stranger things have happened. Why, just last week, my Blackberry was acting funny, so I shut it off. I removed the battery and meditated over it for about five minutes. Then I put the battery back in and turned the Blackberry back on: it was as good as new, thanks to the power of meditation!
More constructive advice:
Bourgoyne did have a piece of advice for the meditators, however, and that is to focus their visualization efforts on a process called “sanding out,” which can happen when the unconstrained flow of oil weakens the rock around the well bore. The rock can break apart and enter the well as sand, which eventually blocks the oil leak.
“If the meditators are seeking a common image upon which to focus,” he said. “I suggest they visualize tiny cracks spreading in the rock.”
Oh, no! Don’t do that! That’s hydraulic fracturing!
Cross-posted at RedState.com.