From deep within the bowels of America’s most beloved bureaucracy:

The good news: free colonoscopies for everybody! The bad news: they’re part of the new airport screening protocol.

Here’s one that didn’t make the cut:

6. Someone once said: “The nine most dangerous words are ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'” Do you know who said it, and do you think it’s humorous?

Cross-posted at RedState.com.