John Malley in the (Weekly World) News

UFO expert, Dr. John Malley, of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials:

Dr. Malley has been touring the globe, speaking to governments about the ongoing alien invasion (which he believes will last until December 2015) and how to best confront the aliens.  “We have to behave in a proper way when dealing with the Gootans.  If not, we are doomed,”  Malley said.


“[Alien balls in Mexico] are from Planet Zeeba and represent ‘offerings of peace’,” said Dr. John Malley of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials.  ”The Zeebans have come here to help humans save Earth and these golden balls will help us in ways we do not know yet.”

More from Dr. John Malley of the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials:

A doctor has discovered the body of a tiny, 6-inch alien in Chile. …


Extraterrestrial experts are wondering, once again, why our government is hiding the truth about tiny aliens.  Dr. John Malley, from the U.N. Panel on Extraterrestrials told WWN, “Tiny aliens from Planet Zeeba have been on our planet for at least two years.  And they have come here to help us save our planet.  We do not understand why the United States – and China and Russia – refuse to acknowledge their existence.”

Dr. John Malley, the head of the U.N. Panel on Global Cooling:

“This is catastrophic for the planet,” said Dr. John Malley, the head of the U.N. Panel on Global Cooling.   “The United Nations is issuing an alert to all the countries on the planet.  The planet could very well freeze over entirely by 2100.”

Scientists predict that most major cities that are on the coast, will be frozen over in the next thirty years.  ”There’s nothing we can do to stop it. The sun is just not as powerful as it used to be,” said Dr. Malley.

Sgt. John Malley of the Santa Fe (NM) Police Dept:

“Colinas started attacking people and making sure that they had their cavity filled and that they understood the importance of good hygiene,” said Sgt. John Malley.  ”He’s sort of a Robin Hood of dentists.  He takes bad teeth and makes them good.  Unfortunately, he’s also attacking people and operating on their teeth without their permission.”

Dr. John Malley, authority on Kim Kardashian’s exploding butt:

LAS VEGAS –   Tragedy struck Kim Kardashian last night on a private flight from New Jersey to Las Vegas.  Her left butt cheek exploded. …

Doctors advise all women with butt implants to speak with their plastic surgeon before boarding another plane.  “You don’t want to be in that mile-high club,”  Dr. John Malley said.

H/T Nelson Spradlin (a/k/a John Malley, ACE Engineer).

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1 Response to John Malley in the (Weekly World) News

  1. Nelson says:

    Malley is quite the authority!

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